Nearly 9 months

I have failed to materialise the initial purpose of revamping this blog. I absentmindedly walked back to what it used to be before revamping. I failed NOT to talk about the past.

But I promise, these talks about the past will eventually lead me to a brighter future. I shall learn from the mistakes I made from the past. The past is what makes the future what it is - better and more meaningful.

So while we're on the subject.....

I was feeling a little melodramatic today. And by today, I mean the 16th of May, Monday. This post is late by a half-hour plus.

I finally opened my diary - the one I feared the most to even have a look at. I knew I wasn't strong enough to face it. To tell it why I haven't been writing. And I expected that when I did have the courage to open and read it, I would cry.

But I didn't really cry. My action and reaction completely took me by surprise. I didn't read the mushy parts, which are only at the beginning of the diary. How sad right?

I read the rest of the diary - and it made me form a decision right there and then. I wouldn't make it official and final yet - not before performing Istikhorah, but this much I'm sure - three nights from now, I will make it official.

I will not go back to the past. Not even when I have the chance. I know there's no second chance, but that was made sure before by only his side. This time, I KNOW there won't be a second chance, because I want it that way too. He's finally got what he's always wanted. We are now on the same page. There will never be you and me - again. (unless if God wants it.)

That's that.

Dear diary, I'm sorry I didn't write in you at all last year. There was no record of 2010. I couldn't bear to tell you. I'm going to write in you again soon. And tell you the news I should have told you 9 months ago.