How do you know if you're really no longer hung up on your ex? When you stop thinking about them right? Well, I got that covered. But what if suddenly out of the blue just by looking at their pictures, you open that door and you start wandering alone this memory lane filled with dust and cobwebs because you haven't been there since the beginning of the end of that relationship. Well, to tell the truth, I was stuck there for a while all alone even after he'd already left. I wanted to get out, but somehow I felt like the door was just jammed it couldn't open.
But once I was out, never got back in except some time after that when I reluctantly entered with him when he forced me to go in with him and see what we had in there, trying to convince me it would be great to once again be in there. Well I wish I was in the same place as him at that time but you can't force yourself to fall in love right when your heart is some place else. If I could I would. I really would because I believe in second chances, not the Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater theory. Mine is Twice A Cheater, Then That's It.
So I was convinced if that couldn't move me, then nothing would. My heart is glued. But now I saw his pictures with his wife on their honeymoon (and they're only like, 7 of them. Alum lagi semua!) I was jealous? Maybe I was jealous because they're there already and I'm still here in Phase One. Either I'm jealous of this or I'm jealous because he's with someone else. I can't really be too sure. Some people believed that we'd go back together again because we were so meant to be. Maybe he believed that too before. And maybe he thought I believed that too. I did, but I also believed there would never be some supernatural force to take me out of it completely. There was. This guy who's so different from him in every way. So that changed things.
The matter of the heart is so complex, it's beyond logic. I always believed that matters are only complicated because you make them so. If things are complicated, simplify them. What's so difficult about making things simple? But I guess I jumped on things. Things can be simplified except when they're related to the heart. I see that now. I mean what you feel is one thing. That's as simple as that. But it's another thing to believe that you feel something. You thought you felt love, but turned out you only believed you did. So how should we know if a feeling is real or make-believe? Your heart tricks itself and there's no way of knowing it.
Hehehe. This is how I tune some things out. By thinking of other things. Who would have thought this time I would touch the topic of my ex, who by the way - in case you're curious - is on good terms with me. =) I can only think if he accidentally stumbled on this entry, he would feel flattered that I've thought about him.
..which brings me to another matter. If I look back on the people that are/were in my life one time and another, I realise things have changed so much. How is this related with my ex? Well, when I was with him, I knew different people, I was friends with those who aren't my friends anymore. All these people were there up until we broke up. Then they just vanished out of my life. The people on my friend list on Facebook, some of them used to know my secrets and stuff. And now, we don't even talk. Just the occasional birthday greetings. But we have mutual friends. People I just met who happen to be their old friends, or the other way around. If I told you whom I used to know so well once upon a time, you'd be in for a big surprise.
Now there's something some of you didn't know about me.
I guess the reason I don't write so much or suck at writing good stuff is because I don't talk about personal stuff. People wanna know the dirt jua kan. All the juicy stuff hehe. Maybe I should.
So what do you wanna know about me?
ps: this month marks the sixth year and fifth month we're together. okay, this is too much of a piece of info for my liking. that won't happen again ;p
But once I was out, never got back in except some time after that when I reluctantly entered with him when he forced me to go in with him and see what we had in there, trying to convince me it would be great to once again be in there. Well I wish I was in the same place as him at that time but you can't force yourself to fall in love right when your heart is some place else. If I could I would. I really would because I believe in second chances, not the Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater theory. Mine is Twice A Cheater, Then That's It.
So I was convinced if that couldn't move me, then nothing would. My heart is glued. But now I saw his pictures with his wife on their honeymoon (and they're only like, 7 of them. Alum lagi semua!) I was jealous? Maybe I was jealous because they're there already and I'm still here in Phase One. Either I'm jealous of this or I'm jealous because he's with someone else. I can't really be too sure. Some people believed that we'd go back together again because we were so meant to be. Maybe he believed that too before. And maybe he thought I believed that too. I did, but I also believed there would never be some supernatural force to take me out of it completely. There was. This guy who's so different from him in every way. So that changed things.
The matter of the heart is so complex, it's beyond logic. I always believed that matters are only complicated because you make them so. If things are complicated, simplify them. What's so difficult about making things simple? But I guess I jumped on things. Things can be simplified except when they're related to the heart. I see that now. I mean what you feel is one thing. That's as simple as that. But it's another thing to believe that you feel something. You thought you felt love, but turned out you only believed you did. So how should we know if a feeling is real or make-believe? Your heart tricks itself and there's no way of knowing it.
Hehehe. This is how I tune some things out. By thinking of other things. Who would have thought this time I would touch the topic of my ex, who by the way - in case you're curious - is on good terms with me. =) I can only think if he accidentally stumbled on this entry, he would feel flattered that I've thought about him.
..which brings me to another matter. If I look back on the people that are/were in my life one time and another, I realise things have changed so much. How is this related with my ex? Well, when I was with him, I knew different people, I was friends with those who aren't my friends anymore. All these people were there up until we broke up. Then they just vanished out of my life. The people on my friend list on Facebook, some of them used to know my secrets and stuff. And now, we don't even talk. Just the occasional birthday greetings. But we have mutual friends. People I just met who happen to be their old friends, or the other way around. If I told you whom I used to know so well once upon a time, you'd be in for a big surprise.
Now there's something some of you didn't know about me.
I guess the reason I don't write so much or suck at writing good stuff is because I don't talk about personal stuff. People wanna know the dirt jua kan. All the juicy stuff hehe. Maybe I should.
So what do you wanna know about me?
ps: this month marks the sixth year and fifth month we're together. okay, this is too much of a piece of info for my liking. that won't happen again ;p
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